Archive for June, 2009

Do you feel on your own?

I was asked by my wife “are we on our own” meaning do we support each other or more importantly do I support her.

My answer is yes we are on our own. The reason being is we come into this world on our own, we will leave on our own. In addition to being on our own we have lots of people in between that time of birth to death that help us along our journey.

Even though we are on our own we have a creator that I know as GOD who is there with us the whole time. When I think about my GOD he is waiting for me to get out of the way and allow all the glory that is in store for me.

It gets right back to the point of FEAR, and this will stop you from breathing, living and loving if you let it. The whole time the spirit of the living GOD is there willing, ready and able to do all things if we just believe. Not only believe that he will but believe that it has already been done.

While we are on our own don’t we still have the support of our friends and family? I think so because GOD has no power here on earth. Ya I said it, no power here on earth. All of the power comes from the workings of God’s people.

I will give you an example of what I am talking about. I was a temporary employee at a fortune 500 company and was close to my 1 year contact expiring and was going to be let go. I did not worry about this because I have great faith in my work ethic and knew things would work out for me.

The person that worked in my current role decided to move on to another company leaving an open position. This is called free will on the part of the person leaving, God’s will was working as well to provide me with a permanent position with this company. The person knew that I wanted to gain employment so was he also on my side? I think so on some level even thought I think he wanted someone else to be in the position but understood that the best person in the eyes of the person doing the hiring would select the best person for the job.

We tend to give up on things when we are close to being at the finish or as my wife stated the “Door of Bliss”. When we choose what is in our heart is that not bliss? I would say that it is the universe working to give us the Yes principle described in another blog of mine. If that is true do we really make mistakes? They appear to be mistakes but are really all things coming together to give us what we want. Hence is why I told my wife that YES she was turning away at the point when she was the closest. To be honest I have no idea but if she believes it, it is.

While God is her true help meat and I am there for her when she needs it. In some or most cases I don’t know how or for what but I am there. I am never there in the way’s she wants such as talking, walking or saying the right things at the right times. I tend to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, but is it really the wrong time? I don’t really believe in accidents, I believe everything happens for a reason.

Support for me is not supporting them when the going is good or when you support someone for who you want them to be. Supporting someone is knowing that they are going to get through the issue. People want to be loved and trusted the same way that I feel my God supports me. I think we as humans can support our friends and family’s in the same ways but after choose not to because we are lacking in the faith that the person is supporting us.

Thanks Nikki for inspiring this blog



If anyone can do it, it is you

“If anyone can do it, it is you” is what my mom always tells me when I have a challenge in my life.

I just seen this commercial “Encouragement – Pass it on” on local TV while visiting my Grandma today.

What does it mean to you? It reminded me of all the people in my life that have always been of great Encouragement to me. We all need it and deserve it just the same. It would take a lot for a person to go in through the out door or in this case to go through the Stage Entrance no Public Access door, then to top it off start playing the piano.

This magic is what we all feel as kids the willingness to do whatever comes to mind. It is what I feel from my Mother and my Grandma. They set the expectation so high for me with out really expecting. I say without expecting because it was never, your going to be a doctor or you are going to be the top sells person. It has always been you are fine the way you are or you will get through this as well.

If you want to see people smile talk about them or what they can do well. Give them the encouragement rather then the discouragement. My grandma always said “speak to people to get action, not a reaction” or “its what your mouth says that get you in trouble”. This is type of talk was huge for me because negative thinking and talking is everywhere and we have to decide what we are going to allow to effect us. Remember back to the blog talking about what we think about expands.

To empower someone is to give them back the power they already have back. Since we are all energy and we transfer energy between us it is important to not allow others to take our energy exspecially our good energy.

This has really started to remind me of one of my favorite school teachers back at the burn. He was a math teacher and I liked math and this teacher was the teaching of the highest level of math in the school.

He was able to see past my coolness of fitting in being the class clown and said to me Chuck please wait after class I need to talk to you. Of course I gave him the old “I have to go to class and will be late if I stay to talk to you. He then of course gave me a pass for arriving late to my next class, but I will never forget what he told me. He looked me in my face and told me “you are not stupid”! I had felt stupid for quite some time because people are always trying to be right. And in order for someone to be right someone has to be wrong. Him telling me that let me know I could not play small in his class and forced me to work harder because I could not fool him. Its just like the things my Mom’s us to tell me, and they have helped to shape my life in a good way.

The moral of this Blog is to be the help meat, throw a dog a bone. Encourage some risk taking because if you don’t get it from home you are less likely to do it when you are older. You will grow to be that tall palm tree that is unable to sway in the wind of adversity.

Thanks Mom for everything exceptionally the ENCOURAGEMENT


Do you really want to be famous?

“I can make you famous” This quote is not as famous but I always think of your picture in the obituary

As a child I was introduced to the modeling profession and hated it. I hated it because of the faking you need to do. I loved the money $50 – $100/hr to take pictures. Boy was I fooled when I learned that you had to fake it a lot.

For me I had to pretend a man was my father while taking pictures with my real mother. This was very hard for me at the time because my Dad was still in my life at that point. I got paid for the job even though they did not use me for the print ad, and that is rare.

My mother God bless her heart that she was never the pushy type to make me do something like this when I was not comfortable with things like this. Don’t get me wrong I had more then enough things that she made me do and I am grateful for that.

We or at least I have experience a shock that really is no shock. I say it is not a shock because did we not think Michael Jackson would die? I did, I just did not think it would be any time soon. Why do you ask? Great question because Michael has been bigger then life for as long as I can remember. And not so large in life at the same time because I grew up being told by my pops that he is my cousin deep down the tree. I always remember thinking if he is our cousin how come he is not at any family reunions or why are we not living large? I know he is related because when my grandpa (pops) dad died his family the Jackson’s were there and they signed the Guest Book.

The real point of this blog is to ask the hard question of when has a child star lived life without issues? I already know that this is a loaded question because life has issues. So what makes child stars so special? I don’t know one that does not, usually they are big issues like drugs, drinking, relationship issues. I know we all have these issues but they seem to be worse with child stars.

In Michael’s case imagine growing up without being able to play at the park or go to school and make new friends? I can’t do it because his way of life is unimaginable to me. I don’t give him a pass but I understand. People are quick to talk about his skin being bleach. I can say one way or another, but what I do know is my cousins great grandpa had that same disease so I know it is real. It can never be proven with Michael because of his fame.

Look at ball players that go Pro after high school. Do they have issues? I only know of one and that is GNet (Kevin Garnet), and I think that has most to do with the fact that he was in boring Minnesota when he started playing Pro Ball. I don’t really know if that is true that he does not have issues, but it makes some sense to my simple mind.

I will end this blog with some good quotes:
“Say Say Say”
“Man in the Mirror”
“Heal the World”
“Black or White”


I will Miss You when your GONE

“Daddy I will miss you when you die” is what Lil’s told me one day this week.

The inevitable will happen to us all. It took me a week to fully understand my feeling about this. Reason is because I remember asking my Grandma “What do you want me to do when you die”. I will never forget her response because I was very young and expected her to say something to the effect of go and beat someone up or break something or just cause harm to everyone and be mad. Well if you know her you know she is nothing like that as a person. What she told me has helped me understand greatly about death.

Ya I said it DEATH don’t be scared it will happen to you just keep living. See what she told me is “keep living and keep doing as if I was still here”. That has touched me on so many levels because I love my Grandma to death, the only one that is even close at that time of my life is my own mother, this takes nothing from my mom at all she is a very special person to me more to come on that. Now I have my own family so that love is shared with them as well but you get the point.

I am not sure how Lil and I got on this subject but I responded with I will always be here for you, not in the physical but always with you when you need me. This was of great impact to me because we all want someone to love us and miss us after we are gone. It is something we live for, I hope without expectations because most people run from expectations that others put on us. My question is why not love and appreciate them while they are here?

I am not scared of death at all, on some levels I am ready to die. Not suicide ready, but ready in the sense that I can’t control it or change it. I am living in the NOW trying to enjoy the beauty in it. Living in the now is to enjoy nature and everything else around you. What I can do is live life because that is what matters most, the “-” (Dash)

I have been robbed at gun point, blood sugars of 970 when I found out I was a diabetic, Typically you are in a coma at 500. I have been in a head on collision that I walked away from and actual ran after the drunk driver that hit me because he was running away. What I learned from that is “Gods Plan Supersedes Mine” Thanks unc for that one. I could have been taken out at any point by any of these. But Gods plan is greater then I can even imagine and that I believe is why I did not die in these examples.

Life is for living, loving and learning but we as a people are to consumed with the light, cable, water or mortgage payment that we spend most of our time away from what we are fighting for (Family). I know this is true for my life and would imagine most are.

I tell you this because sooner or later it will catch you as well, so STOP running. That does not mean go be stupid and do stupid things because you will die! I have found that “What you run from you run into” or “What you resist the most, you need the most”.

My family is young and and we have not yet experienced much death at all, but what we have had has been very hard. The first one for me was my Grandpa then my Aunt the oldest child of the family. These have been hard for the whole family and if not they are running. My Grandma is still here fighting to live and still providing learning opportunities for us all, we are just not getting the messages so she will keep teaching I am sure. Thanks unc for everything you do in support for mom!

Thanks Lil’s for inspiring this on Fathers Day


Black and Beautiful in America

I some times answer my phone with “Black and Beautiful” or “Black in America”. I do this to remind myself that I Am, Black and Beautiful in America. Usually the person on the other end knows where I am coming from with this statement then laughs in agreement.

I really started this when Obama became the President of America. Notice I did not say President of and for Black people, or for rich people or even poor people. It started then because we as a people seem to feel like we had something to be proud of again. See if you are one of these people that voted for him expecting him to make this change on his own, you are or will soon be fooled. See he is the President of America the land of the free home of the brave.

All he did was show the possibility’s of making change people can see. What he understand best to me is the realizes that it only starts with him, but the rest of the work in this case is up to the people. In spite of what your thoughts or beliefs of him, he is NOT the all knowing or the all powerful one who could get himself elected or make the changes we all need. It took a nation of people to put him in office and it will take that same nation to make the changes we all need with his help and support. “It takes a nation of people to hold my people back” search the quote if you don’t know.

See for Black folks Obama gives us what I call bragging rights or a even better a target on our backs. See because where whites can get away with doing something a black person is not able to. Why you might ask because them people are watching, most blacks are not the that interested in the crimes whites commit unless it is the mob or the difference of being convicted for powder cocaine (Whites) vs rock cocaine (Blacks) typically. Some black people have taken this time as some kind of power trip for themselves and to take action to the agenda they have. This is the time to exploit the differences in the way Whites are treated vs. Blacks. “It takes a nation of people to hold my people back”.

When it comes to Obama they are watching for the jelly on that Brooks Brothers Suit or for him to stumble over his words or just plan show his humanness or in this case his blackness. We as a people need to be even more on point even more aware of what is going on. By checking our intentions because “the man” (White People) are still trying to figure us out. If you thought that all we had to do was put a Black man in office then you have been duped and you will be duped again.

He has only paved the way to more of the same prejudices, now just even more undercover. I say undercover because now they change the way they do things. My example is the new seat belt law in many states. A very good friend of mine was driving from a work site up north back to the cities. This was the first week this new law was put in effect. What happen is the cop sped up to get along side of him while beeping that horn that basically say’s look around and move out the way, just to verify he was wearing his seat belt. This is the New Racial Profiling to stop people based on a speculation of how the car or truck looks or the driver. What they did not take into account is who is driving these cars that once looked like a Black persons car not to mention how dangerous it is to be speeding on our highways these day blowing that dam horn. If you don’t believe me take a look at what stock cars and truck use to look like 10 years ago and look at them now. Now they come with Dubs or 22’s from the factory, and if they don’t come from the factory like that they are a factory option.

Why is that? Because Business America has realized the power and influence that Black America has on America. Take the Caddy for example. Only black people and some rare white people usually from Florida or Texas know about Vogue Tires, Mock Tops and Gold Trimming. Blacks have been adding this style as after market parts for years, now they are a factory option and the dealer will install for you and roll the cost into the load. I guess you could always get Vogue’s from the dealer but they would be a special order, now most have them in stock for quick sale. As resent as 5 years ago the wheels are even getting bigger from the factory as well as gold package’s and wheel and tire types of packages being sold from the factory. If you want some more example to search on or take notice of look at your news casters or reporters more blacks. Look at the beats on video games or major company commercials showing famous blacks or the music they made famous.

The issue with this form a Racial Profiling is that it is one more way for that corrupt cop to gain access to suspected law breakers. My point is now those potential law breakers with the vogue tires are blue collar as well as white collar workers, not just the baller’s and shot callers of the pimps and hoes.

My opinion is this the sooner we as a nation realizes that Blacks are not going to keep asking for what they need to be a major part of this America we helped make. After we ask a couple time with now action we are going to start taking.


Time for check up from the neck up

“I am whatever you say I am, if I wasn’t then why would you say I am”. If you don’t know who said it search it.

The point of this to me is that I choose not to argue to prove or disprove your thoughts because they are whatever you say they are, if they weren’t then why would you say they are. Your truths are your truths for you to have all to yourself unless we agree.

Not that a person should not be open to others thoughts but you should not let them lead you unless you agree.

Lets take the first two works “I AM” this statement is a strong one that something to take note of, because we are. The truth needs no explaining or defending, it just is and it is your no matter what it is.

Think of your thoughts as seeds and your words as water, when you speak it you water it with your words. This is important to take the time to understand because the universes answer to everything is YES. Yes to the bad, Yes to the sad and Yes to what you are expecting or wanting.

When you say I am poor the universal response is YES.
When you say I am ugly the universal response is YES.
When you say I am a child of GOD the universal response is YES.
When you say I am Rich the universal is YES

I think you get the point of what I am saying and if you don’t read it again.
Look back at your life at all the things you have asked for. All the things from the good to the bad and you will see that you have already received or it is on delay, delay meaning it is on the way.

I have done this and I have found that pretty much everything has happened or it is on delay. so have some faith, it is what we will be judged on. I don’t mean faith when everything is going well, I don’t mean when you have the 9 suits, 9 cars, 9 houses or the 9 wife’s if that is your fancy. But when you have only one of each of them, or only one of them. My question is DO YOU HAVE ANY FAITH? It is easy to have faith when you have everything you ever wanted or when you peers deem you as successful. If you don’t think so just keep living and life will happen to you too.

The thing I get most out of the bible is “Faith”! Do you have any? At what point did you loose it, what happened in your life that made you think that FEAR was the better alternative?
Fantasized = To conceive fanciful or extravagant notions, ideas, suppositions, or the like.
Emotions = An affective state of consciousness in which joy, sorrow, fear, hate, or the like, is experienced, as distinguished from cognitive and volitional states of consciousness.
Appearing = To come into sight; become visible
Real = Being an actual thing

I have found very little in my life where FEAR serves me. My example of this fear is my desire to jump out of a plane with a para shoot of course, not having FEAR doesn’t give you the right to be stupid. The reason this is a FEAR is because my mind See’s no reason to jump out of a perfectly fine plane. I can see jumping out of one that is on fire or going down because of mechanical reasons, but a well working plane.

Not me, but I like to overcome my FEAR because it is an empowering thing to do and achieve. So YES I can jump out of a perfectly fine plane and live to talk about it. We as a people are scared to stand out before our peers. It is one of the reasons we don’t do as well as we can in school, because our friends will think we are chumps or nerds or something. We tend to be like sheep playing follow the leader or Shepherd in the sheep case. When the Shepherd is scattered in the mind, the sheep are scattered.

My challenge for us all is that we Do a Check up from the Neck up or in this case train the tongue to speak to what we want, need or desire. In doing this we check our thoughts while checking our minds freeing our body’s our souls and our life’s. When we free our mind we are free.

Thanks Cuz for the inspiration to write this


Happy Birthday

Today is my Birthday and I have graduated from it being about me and my birthday to being about my kids birthday’s. Yes mine is the 11th of June my oldest is the 18th and my youngest is the 21st.

This was one of many lessons that I have learned after Nate Walker’s passing. I do not truly know the lesson 100% but I can tell you this. It means more to me for them to have great memory’s about the day they blessed me. This blessing will be forever so I think the honor in that is what is so special.

I will never forget when I would rush to go wish him a happy birthday June 1st every year because I knew mine was only 10 day’s away. He is the most special man I have every know, well until my mom married my Dad.

My Grandpa Nate (Pops) shares no blood relation with me, but you could not tell him or I that because of how we feel about each other. This part is so important to me because my blood grandpa Charles Logan Sr. was Nate’s best friend during childhood. I remember doing everything with Nate even more so then his own true blood son’s little Nate. It is a very special relationship to me because I lacked a true role model in my life. So GOD blessed me with his wisdom for such a short time. See he died 11/11/97 at 10:10am at the young age of 66 as a Veteran passing on Veterans Day. I was and I am still crushed by this loss because I don’t have this kind of relationship with anyone. The closest is my dad (Donnie), see to love someone like they are your own flesh and blood is the best love you can share with someone when they are not your true flesh and blood. That is how he got the name Pops because he is the closest to Pops I have every seen.

Back to the Birthday stuff. I would wish Pops Happy Birthday and he would say thanks or knowing him he would say nothing. He would reach in to his big wallet and give me money for my birthday. I would say “Pops this is your birthday” he would always reply with “you better come over here and get this while I got it” so I would of course go to get my gift from him. I say him because after giving to me this money he would always say “now you better get over to see your grandma and get what she has for you”. It always touched me that he thought of me on his birthday. I never understood why until I had 2 birthday’s that mean more then mine.

Still to this day my Wife wants to make a big deal out of my Birthday and I am like whatever because I would prefer the kids have the special Birthday. Now this does not mean I don’t appreciate party’s or gifts because I do and look forward to them, I just I just don’t expect them.

Happy Birthday to me but most of all to my Girls Alyssa (AD) and Lilli (Lil)