“Daddy I will miss you when you die” is what Lil’s told me one day this week.

The inevitable will happen to us all. It took me a week to fully understand my feeling about this. Reason is because I remember asking my Grandma “What do you want me to do when you die”. I will never forget her response because I was very young and expected her to say something to the effect of go and beat someone up or break something or just cause harm to everyone and be mad. Well if you know her you know she is nothing like that as a person. What she told me has helped me understand greatly about death.

Ya I said it DEATH don’t be scared it will happen to you just keep living. See what she told me is “keep living and keep doing as if I was still here”. That has touched me on so many levels because I love my Grandma to death, the only one that is even close at that time of my life is my own mother, this takes nothing from my mom at all she is a very special person to me more to come on that. Now I have my own family so that love is shared with them as well but you get the point.

I am not sure how Lil and I got on this subject but I responded with I will always be here for you, not in the physical but always with you when you need me. This was of great impact to me because we all want someone to love us and miss us after we are gone. It is something we live for, I hope without expectations because most people run from expectations that others put on us. My question is why not love and appreciate them while they are here?

I am not scared of death at all, on some levels I am ready to die. Not suicide ready, but ready in the sense that I can’t control it or change it. I am living in the NOW trying to enjoy the beauty in it. Living in the now is to enjoy nature and everything else around you. What I can do is live life because that is what matters most, the “-” (Dash)

I have been robbed at gun point, blood sugars of 970 when I found out I was a diabetic, Typically you are in a coma at 500. I have been in a head on collision that I walked away from and actual ran after the drunk driver that hit me because he was running away. What I learned from that is “Gods Plan Supersedes Mine” Thanks unc for that one. I could have been taken out at any point by any of these. But Gods plan is greater then I can even imagine and that I believe is why I did not die in these examples.

Life is for living, loving and learning but we as a people are to consumed with the light, cable, water or mortgage payment that we spend most of our time away from what we are fighting for (Family). I know this is true for my life and would imagine most are.

I tell you this because sooner or later it will catch you as well, so STOP running. That does not mean go be stupid and do stupid things because you will die! I have found that “What you run from you run into” or “What you resist the most, you need the most”.

My family is young and and we have not yet experienced much death at all, but what we have had has been very hard. The first one for me was my Grandpa then my Aunt the oldest child of the family. These have been hard for the whole family and if not they are running. My Grandma is still here fighting to live and still providing learning opportunities for us all, we are just not getting the messages so she will keep teaching I am sure. Thanks unc for everything you do in support for mom!

Thanks Lil’s for inspiring this on Fathers Day

OBMO