Posts from the ‘Lilli’ Category

Make The Call, Most Importantly Pick Up The Phone

This is a post I never wanted or planned to write, so if I cut some of this story short this is why.

On Sept. 29th 2011 I was to have a dentist appointment in South Beach California, but the day before I was called to reschedule because dentist being sick.  I thought not much of it other than I’m glad they told me rather than getting there and then them telling me, you would be surprised how much that happens here in LA. 

 

On the 29th my family was planning on going to see my Aunt in Big Bear for a day of exploring and fun.  Before leaving while I was in the kitchen they started to leave, I thought to myself so Lilli is not going to give me hug and kiss before leaving?  At that moment she turned around and came back in to give me exactly that.  What I did not know of don’t remember is that Lilli did not want to go, she wanted to go to a friend’s house instead.  After they left I sat in the chair and started playing my video game for some morning time enjoyment before work.  After about 45 min. The phone rang with a number and area code I had never seen before.  I answered and on the other end was my wife is distraught speaking very unclear, other than the word accident.  I asked where they where trying to gather some info for the severity of the accident, at this point I am already turning of game and putting dog away.  The phone was then passed to my oldest Alyssa and she said exactly the same thing we were in an accident, by this time I am out the door only wanting to know where they are at so I can rush to the scene to do what I have no idea, Alyssa told me 215 and Haven. Most of my reality thinking was chucked out the window and the reason is if an accident happens on side of the road the highway’s basically shut down, so I would have never got to the accident in enough time anyways.

At this point I am in the car and I have no idea where Haven is so I turn on GPS towards my aunts assuming it will take me there.  After driving about 45 min and no sign of an accident I pulled over to call my wife (Nikki) and when she did not pick up I called Alyssa and she did not pick up.  I then called the number back that they called me from and the lady Jessica answered.  She tells me some hard to hear info, that my Lilli was thrown from the car but was alive.  I then asked here what city the accident happened in so I could find out what hospital they were taken to.  She said the city was Rancho Cucamonga, I then called the police and they told me they knew nothing about the accident and suggested I call CHP.  When I called Them they said they did not know anything about it and to call the city police again, after a little run around I finally found out they were taken to Arrowhead Medical Center.

Now keep in mind that I drove about 45 min in a direction that seemed totally out-of-the-way of where the accident was, only to find myself 3 miles from Arrowhead Medical Center.  Once I get to the Medical Center and find parking I get a call from the Officer advising me of the accident.  I ask what hospital they are at because I still don’t know if they are at Arrowhead or not, he tells me as far as he knows they are all at Arrowhead.

When I get to this big hospital with a courthouse jail house attached to it I am lost.  Security check points to enter I am just trying to see my family.  After getting through all of that I get to the ER desk and ask to see my family.  The lady’s response is what are the names.  I ask for Nikki and they confirm they are here and who would I like to see first, my response is Lilli.  The lady tells me that she does not see her at this hospital.  At this point I could have lost it because I was not ready for that.  I then ask to see Nikki because I need to gather info for my next moves.  I go in to see Nikki and she is alert and very happy to see me and her response is one of the reasons I married her, “Go be with Lilli, go find her”.  I now go check on Alyssa she looks to be about in the same shape of Nikki so I kissed her and told her I had to find where Lilli is and I love her.  My Mother In-law was with them so I went to check on her and she looked bad, meaning lots of attention was being paid to her needs.  At this time the nurses and/or doctors are getting the address and phone number for the hospital where Lilli is at.  I kiss my wife and tell her I will be back as I bolt out the room to be with my child who is all alone in the ER with who knows what is wrong.

When I get to the ER where Lilli is I am floored to see her in that position yet happy to see her notice me and shed a tear.  You could live a million years and you will never be prepared to see your child like that.  She was in this neck brace unable to move and in more pain then I think I could handle.

After a couple  or a few day’s we went to get articles from the car, I was not expecting to see this either.    DAAAM was the words that came out of my mouth when I saw this.

For them to have the injuries they have considering this view I knew I was blessed and that all the Angles in the world were there to support the Rogers Family.

This post is to explain to us all that it is very important to pick up the phone when it is ringing.  In an emergency your lucky if you get to make one phone call and it could be the last time you get.  So blocked, out of area, bill collector or whoever answer and deal with what is on the other line.  Make the phone call if you want to talk to a person, don’t wait for them to call you because the phone may never ring in that case.

I want to thank any and all of you for your thoughts and prayers during this time of dealing with this accident.  I also want you to know that most of them have stopped and I understand because you did not live it and you’re not living it.  I deal with this everyday when I see my child’s scare from surgery, or the constant doctors appointments for my girls.  Also for the emotional scare that has plagued us for the rest of our lives.  Please don’t feel guilt to be interested now after not but I pray that you never have to experience anything like this n your life.

I want to thank Toyota for making the Matrix with such safety features that would help limit the injuries to my family but I would truly like to thank the Universe for creating Ice Plant for my baby to land on and to the city for planting it.

Namaste

 

 

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Do you want Peace

Have you ever wondered why this is going on in your life? Do you ask the question “why me”?

When the question of why me comes up I right away think of my uncle Bret and his response to that rhetorical question, “why not you”. Some things in life like accidents or diseases will leave you thinking why me. For me in the summer of my life I am working to find meaning to my life. That question leaves me asking the question of “what is my lesson in this”?

Most times the answer to that question take much chewing before the answer is reveled to me. It’s amazing how most things want what you feel you have the least of, time. See when I was young time did not exist in my reality, ok when the street lights came one but that was still different. Time is in the mind just like thoughts of right and wrong. There is a field where right and wrong do not exist, will you meet me there? Rumi

Right_________you/me_______Wrong
Illustration by Shannon Logan

These questions of why me leave you as the victim of your life, while what’s the lesson gets you searching. The rule of life is simple if you search you will find. Similar in sales if you keep knocking you will get some yes’s.

Peace is not something that you can find a way to, Peace is the way. It’s a way you have to choose, want or accept and that is not always easy because of the desire to be right.

I’ve been right so many times that I’m at a point that I wish I was not right most times. I get my facts from my experiences, if you don’t agree or know something else. I am the type that would like to know, as a student of this game called life.

I choose the bath of least resistance just like electricity does. Not because I’m scared of conflict but because I’ve not found conflict as a good way of resolving differences. So I choose peace. If I had a choice between all the riches of the world or Peace I would choose peace. Reason is your could have

it all

and still not have peace. Yet you having Peace feel like having it all. It’s up to you really, you can be hateful and get more of what you have. The other option is choosing peace and seeing things in a new light.

When my child Lilli got out of hospital after a major car crash she told my wife, what a beautiful sunset. She could have just hung on to her story and been scared to get in car to drive home. Yet instead she found the Peace she sought at a time she needed it the most.

Namaste

Happy Birthday

This is a re-post:

 
Today is my Birthday and I have graduated from it being about me and my birthday to being about my kids birthday’s. Yes mine is the 11th of June my oldest is the 18th and my youngest is the 21st.

This was one of many lessons that I have learned after Nate Walker’s passing. I do not truly know the lesson 100% but I can tell you this. It means more to me for them to have great memory’s about the day they blessed me. This blessing will be forever so I think the honor in that is what is so special.

I will never forget when I would rush to go wish him a happy birthday June 1st every year because I knew mine was only 10 day’s away. He is the most special man I have every know, well until my mom married my Dad.

My Grandpa Nate (Pops) shares no blood relation with me, but you could not tell him or I that because of how we feel about each other. This part is so important to me because my blood grandpa Charles Logan Sr. was Nate’s best friend during childhood. I remember doing everything with Nate even more so then his own true blood son’s little Nate. It is a very special relationship to me because I lacked a true role model in my life. So GOD blessed me with his wisdom for such a short time. See he died 11/11/97 at 10:10am at the young age of 66 as a Veteran passing on Veterans Day. I was and I am still crushed by this loss because I don’t have this kind of relationship with anyone. The closest is my dad (Donnie), see to love someone like they are your own flesh and blood is the best love you can share with someone when they are not your true flesh and blood. That is how he got the name Pops because he is the closest to Pops I have every seen.

Back to the Birthday stuff. I would wish Pops Happy Birthday and he would say thanks or knowing him he would say nothing. He would reach in to his big wallet and give me money for my birthday. I would say “Pops this is your birthday” he would always reply with “you better come over here and get this while I got it” so I would of course go to get my gift from him. I say him because after giving to me this money he would always say “now you better get over to see your grandma and get what she has for you”. It always touched me that he thought of me on his birthday. I never understood why until I had 2 birthday’s that mean more then mine.

Still to this day my Wife wants to make a big deal out of my Birthday and I am like whatever because I would prefer the kids have the special Birthday. Now this does not mean I don’t appreciate party’s or gifts because I do and look forward to them, I just I just don’t expect them.

Happy Birthday to me but most of all to my Girls Alyssa (AD) and Lilli (Lil)