Posts from the ‘lessons’ Category

Make The Call, Most Importantly Pick Up The Phone

This is a post I never wanted or planned to write, so if I cut some of this story short this is why.

On Sept. 29th 2011 I was to have a dentist appointment in South Beach California, but the day before I was called to reschedule because dentist being sick.  I thought not much of it other than I’m glad they told me rather than getting there and then them telling me, you would be surprised how much that happens here in LA. 

 

On the 29th my family was planning on going to see my Aunt in Big Bear for a day of exploring and fun.  Before leaving while I was in the kitchen they started to leave, I thought to myself so Lilli is not going to give me hug and kiss before leaving?  At that moment she turned around and came back in to give me exactly that.  What I did not know of don’t remember is that Lilli did not want to go, she wanted to go to a friend’s house instead.  After they left I sat in the chair and started playing my video game for some morning time enjoyment before work.  After about 45 min. The phone rang with a number and area code I had never seen before.  I answered and on the other end was my wife is distraught speaking very unclear, other than the word accident.  I asked where they where trying to gather some info for the severity of the accident, at this point I am already turning of game and putting dog away.  The phone was then passed to my oldest Alyssa and she said exactly the same thing we were in an accident, by this time I am out the door only wanting to know where they are at so I can rush to the scene to do what I have no idea, Alyssa told me 215 and Haven. Most of my reality thinking was chucked out the window and the reason is if an accident happens on side of the road the highway’s basically shut down, so I would have never got to the accident in enough time anyways.

At this point I am in the car and I have no idea where Haven is so I turn on GPS towards my aunts assuming it will take me there.  After driving about 45 min and no sign of an accident I pulled over to call my wife (Nikki) and when she did not pick up I called Alyssa and she did not pick up.  I then called the number back that they called me from and the lady Jessica answered.  She tells me some hard to hear info, that my Lilli was thrown from the car but was alive.  I then asked here what city the accident happened in so I could find out what hospital they were taken to.  She said the city was Rancho Cucamonga, I then called the police and they told me they knew nothing about the accident and suggested I call CHP.  When I called Them they said they did not know anything about it and to call the city police again, after a little run around I finally found out they were taken to Arrowhead Medical Center.

Now keep in mind that I drove about 45 min in a direction that seemed totally out-of-the-way of where the accident was, only to find myself 3 miles from Arrowhead Medical Center.  Once I get to the Medical Center and find parking I get a call from the Officer advising me of the accident.  I ask what hospital they are at because I still don’t know if they are at Arrowhead or not, he tells me as far as he knows they are all at Arrowhead.

When I get to this big hospital with a courthouse jail house attached to it I am lost.  Security check points to enter I am just trying to see my family.  After getting through all of that I get to the ER desk and ask to see my family.  The lady’s response is what are the names.  I ask for Nikki and they confirm they are here and who would I like to see first, my response is Lilli.  The lady tells me that she does not see her at this hospital.  At this point I could have lost it because I was not ready for that.  I then ask to see Nikki because I need to gather info for my next moves.  I go in to see Nikki and she is alert and very happy to see me and her response is one of the reasons I married her, “Go be with Lilli, go find her”.  I now go check on Alyssa she looks to be about in the same shape of Nikki so I kissed her and told her I had to find where Lilli is and I love her.  My Mother In-law was with them so I went to check on her and she looked bad, meaning lots of attention was being paid to her needs.  At this time the nurses and/or doctors are getting the address and phone number for the hospital where Lilli is at.  I kiss my wife and tell her I will be back as I bolt out the room to be with my child who is all alone in the ER with who knows what is wrong.

When I get to the ER where Lilli is I am floored to see her in that position yet happy to see her notice me and shed a tear.  You could live a million years and you will never be prepared to see your child like that.  She was in this neck brace unable to move and in more pain then I think I could handle.

After a couple  or a few day’s we went to get articles from the car, I was not expecting to see this either.    DAAAM was the words that came out of my mouth when I saw this.

For them to have the injuries they have considering this view I knew I was blessed and that all the Angles in the world were there to support the Rogers Family.

This post is to explain to us all that it is very important to pick up the phone when it is ringing.  In an emergency your lucky if you get to make one phone call and it could be the last time you get.  So blocked, out of area, bill collector or whoever answer and deal with what is on the other line.  Make the phone call if you want to talk to a person, don’t wait for them to call you because the phone may never ring in that case.

I want to thank any and all of you for your thoughts and prayers during this time of dealing with this accident.  I also want you to know that most of them have stopped and I understand because you did not live it and you’re not living it.  I deal with this everyday when I see my child’s scare from surgery, or the constant doctors appointments for my girls.  Also for the emotional scare that has plagued us for the rest of our lives.  Please don’t feel guilt to be interested now after not but I pray that you never have to experience anything like this n your life.

I want to thank Toyota for making the Matrix with such safety features that would help limit the injuries to my family but I would truly like to thank the Universe for creating Ice Plant for my baby to land on and to the city for planting it.

Namaste

 

 

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Time Is On Your Side

On this New Years Eve I figured I would write this post after being inspired by my Auntie Lisa and my wife, who is writing a post of her own next to me.

I realized this year 2011 that I have a very dysfunctional relationship with time. I use it, and spend it but not always the way I would like to, imagine that. What makes it dysfunctional is that feel I never have enough time, so I am always trying to maximize the time, in ways like books on CD to maximize my driving time to work. Being efficient with my doings during the day, so I can have some “down time”. I am not saying that the things that I do as described are bad things, because they are not. What is bad is how I feel about my lack of time.

After realizing this I took up some hobbies, collecting Cigars, playing with R/C Helicopters for me to feel somewhat at peace with how my time was being spent. What slows me down is the knowing fact that our time here on earth is limited. At anytime this could all be over and for me that is not a good thought considering I have not done most of what I set out to do. Yes I have done more than many but that does not fill me because I am not in a race or competing with anyone. If today was the last day on earth I would be sad not only because of the hurt my family would feel but also because I feel I have only lived half of my life. To quote Tupac Shakur “I came a long way but still I got so far to go”. Time is one of the most precious thing we have control over, yet we piss on it in one way or another.

When I think of time I always think of Rod Stewart – Young Turks –

“Young hearts be free tonight. Time is on your side,
Don’t let them put you down, don’t let ’em push you around,
don’t let ’em ever change your point of view”

Time is on your side is what sticks out the most because it is what we tell ourselves that slows us down. That sentence reminded me of what the Late Great Mrs. Clarissa M. Walker would say “Your moving to fast”. I always thought I understood that but I see her lessons are always unfolding to me. I am the most blessed person I know when it comes to my family, they have all taught me something that I use everyday of my life. Some of them don’t even know the lessons and that can be some of the best teachings.

So for this New Year 2012 make it the best 2012 ever, you only get one. The first thing you can do to kick that off is give yourself a checkup from the neck up, that will start you on the longest 18″ journey you will every make in this lifetime.

I leave you in Peace, Love & Respect

Namaste

Charles J. Rogers

Do you want Peace

Have you ever wondered why this is going on in your life? Do you ask the question “why me”?

When the question of why me comes up I right away think of my uncle Bret and his response to that rhetorical question, “why not you”. Some things in life like accidents or diseases will leave you thinking why me. For me in the summer of my life I am working to find meaning to my life. That question leaves me asking the question of “what is my lesson in this”?

Most times the answer to that question take much chewing before the answer is reveled to me. It’s amazing how most things want what you feel you have the least of, time. See when I was young time did not exist in my reality, ok when the street lights came one but that was still different. Time is in the mind just like thoughts of right and wrong. There is a field where right and wrong do not exist, will you meet me there? Rumi

Right_________you/me_______Wrong
Illustration by Shannon Logan

These questions of why me leave you as the victim of your life, while what’s the lesson gets you searching. The rule of life is simple if you search you will find. Similar in sales if you keep knocking you will get some yes’s.

Peace is not something that you can find a way to, Peace is the way. It’s a way you have to choose, want or accept and that is not always easy because of the desire to be right.

I’ve been right so many times that I’m at a point that I wish I was not right most times. I get my facts from my experiences, if you don’t agree or know something else. I am the type that would like to know, as a student of this game called life.

I choose the bath of least resistance just like electricity does. Not because I’m scared of conflict but because I’ve not found conflict as a good way of resolving differences. So I choose peace. If I had a choice between all the riches of the world or Peace I would choose peace. Reason is your could have

it all

and still not have peace. Yet you having Peace feel like having it all. It’s up to you really, you can be hateful and get more of what you have. The other option is choosing peace and seeing things in a new light.

When my child Lilli got out of hospital after a major car crash she told my wife, what a beautiful sunset. She could have just hung on to her story and been scared to get in car to drive home. Yet instead she found the Peace she sought at a time she needed it the most.

Namaste

>You Don’t know what you want!

>People think they know what they want, they don’t. I know this because I have asked for things in my life that I have received and I wish I would not have. Not that I have not learned from the experiences but I do wish I would have chosen differently.

The biggest thing for me right now is my house or our house. I should have never got this house and I knew it when I got it. But I believed in what we were doing more so I went along with it. After a troubled economy and no OT at work I am in a place of not wanting to keep this place because life as I know it has changed. It is time to live again and that is the type of change I am looking for.

My wife’s uncle had a million+ dollar house and the taxes were 30k. My question to you is would you be ok paying that type of money to live in a house? I would because if I can afford it I have no problem with spending money. For me it is not being able to afford it is were my issues come in. I choose life over things and I will give it up to have it all. But I know some people would not be able to because that is a lot of money just for taxes. And lets just keep it real, you can only sleep in 1 bed per night and use only 1 bathroom at a time. So what is the need for 10 rooms or 15 bathrooms?

I hear many people say I don’t like paying taxes or I pay to much in taxes. I am thinking that if I was paying say a Million bucks in taxes a year I am doing dam good for myself. And I can’t wait for the day to come because it is on it way. The reason is this, do the math if you pay a 1/3 of your gross in taxes your gross was 3 Million. Now we know that if you are making that type of money you have deductions and other things so your gross was really more then that but for numbers that is good money.

Not everyone is fit to be wealthy, I say fit because your mind must be fit as well. Don’t be fooled to think that you only have to spend the money. You have to keep it and/or make it, and that is a job in itself.

Short story of how this lesson was taught to me. My aunt is 6 month and 25 day’s older then me so we were raised like brother and sister basically.

The lesson started like this:
Grandma can I have a dollar? See I would always ask first because I had no reservation about asking for what I wanted or needed. She would reach and give me a dollar without question.
My aunt would come right behind me and ask for 5 dollars! I would be like Grandma why did you give her 5 and me only 1? You only asked for a dollar baby.

My point is just like my grandma told me “Be careful what you ask for, because you might just get it”.

Thanks Grandma I have chewed on this meat for many years and plan on it feeding me for many more.